The Magic of Miscarriage

*** This post was originally written for my Magical Monday column on***



Let’s be frank: miscarriages SUCK. It’s a time of lost-dreams, secret grief, confusion and guilt. Every one of us who suffers a loss questions, at least for a moment, if it was due to something we did or didn’t do. Most of us have already formed a bond and an internal relationship with the baby ~ and indeed a miscarriage feels like we are losing a most sacred and beautiful part of ourselves. We have to readjust our minds around the due dates and the dreams. And often we’re stuck with a body that still feels slightly pregnant, so we can’t even easily erase the pain of our loss. There’s NOTHING easy about miscarriages.

But….there just might be some magic behind them. Some magic that can bring us comfort and even hope during this most difficult time. There are a few things the Spirit Baby Realm want us all to know about miscarriage and here they are:

* In almost all cases of miscarriage (or abortion or stillborns) the soul that we lost WILL COME BACK TO US in a subsequent pregnancy. Of course it’s up to us to create the circumstances for that pregnancy, but if we are willing to try again, that soul that we had already bonded to WILL COME BACK. I felt this so strongly when I was pregnant with my first son, Finn. I’d had two miscarriages before and it was so obvious to me that the soul of my baby was the same energy each time. When this was confirmed for me when reading the book “Baby Catcher” by Peggy Vincent, I was overcome with joy and filled with such comfort. The babies DO come back. We can and will meet our lost babies again.

* It’s not our fault. We don’t have miscarriages because of something we ate or because of that wine we had a dinner (though I remember that on the day I miscarried for the first time I’d eaten raw sprouts on a sandwich and to this day I still won’t eat them). Even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time and we may never fully understand the reasons, the miscarriage is something we chose to experience (along with our baby) before we came to the Earth plane.  Perhaps we needed the miscarriage experience to learn certain lessons or to clear karma ~ and perhaps our baby needed the experience too. Finn, at age 8, tells me matter-of-factly the reasons he went away  and came back before finally staying for good. It’s no one’s fault, it’s something we and our babies agreed upon while planning out our lifetimes.

* Miscarriage can intensify prebirth communication. It was after my first miscarriage that my experiences with prebirth communication really kicked in. I believe it was due to the fact that my yearning was so strong and so raw ~ and that intense yearning opened me up to the world of signs and dreams and communication with my lost baby. I also so badly wanted to BELIEVE in the signs and dreams I was having, so I had faith that the communication I was having was indeed the real thing. That’s really all we need to experience strong prebirth communication ~ the yearning for a baby and a belief in the signs we are receiving.  My beautiful first experiences with prebirth communication were such a balm to my soul and gave me such hope and comfort. The signs were a promise from my baby that he indeed would return.

* Miscarriages carry with them hidden gifts. The obvious gift I received from my miscarriages was the ability for prebirth communication. My miscarriages opened up a whole new realm for me. But there were other gifts that came with them too. Even though I’d lost grandparents and dear family pets, my miscarriages carried me to a whole new level of grief and mourning. Even though it certainly didn’t feel like a gift at the time, my miscarriages taught me how to empathize and gracefully interact with others who are grieving. Before my miscarriages, I felt so awkward and clumsy around someone who was suffering a loss and I KNOW I said or did the wrong things. Having suffered intense grief myself, I now know how to respond to grief ~ you don’t tip-toe around it, you don’t avoid certain words, and you certainly don’t ignore it. You ask if they want to talk about it (yes, we NEED to talk about our grief!) and you offer them the help of watching their kids or making them dinner (offering a specific task, I find, is a lot better than the open-ended “let me know if I can do anything for you”).  Knowing what to say to someone who is grieving is a tremendous relief from the clumsy, fumbling role I used to play…and I owe it to my miscarriages. Miscarriages also make us stronger, more resilient and really make us reorganize our priorities. It may also make us (and our partners) really realize how much we DO want a baby. Yes, there are many hidden gifts.

Even though I’ve been known to tear up just talking about them years later, I don’t look at my 2 miscarriages as tragedies that define me. I look at them as life experiences that have helped shaped me into the person I am today.

Miscarriages will never be easy, but if we can eliminate the guilt and confusion around them while knowing that our babies are still close to us, wanting to communicate AND wanting to return…well, that does feel like a little bit of magic, doesn’t it? ♥

For more info check out the “Miscarriage” page.



A Different Way to TTC Part 2

This blog post is dedicated to my pioneering Sisters who did the first round of the TTC Game-Changer Package. You’ve changed the energy, Dear Sisters, and you’re free. ♥


“Mama, if you KNEW, without a doubt, that I was coming within the next couple of months, how would you live life differently now?” This was the question posed to you by your Spirit Baby in part one of the “Different Way to TTC” series.

Think about it for a moment. Take a deep breath, relax, and feel into the wisdom of your heart. If you KNEW that your baby would be here within the next few months ~ and there was nothing you needed to do or even COULD do to interfere with the Divine Timing of the processs ~ what would you do? How would you feel? How would you live?

Take another deep breath and feel the energy of your Spirit Baby coming very close. Your Spirit Baby’s energy is so close that it is now mingling with the energy of your Soul. There is an energetic embrace and exchange going on right now between your baby’s energy and your Soul’s energy. Listen with your heart to the wisdom they have to share.

* Your Spirit Baby and your Soul want you to know that you are FREE. You’re more free now than you’ve ever been. If you’ve been pre-occupied, distracted, and/or obsessed with your TTC journey, know that it is time to truly let go of that journey and release it. Your baby IS here. Your baby WILL come. Wipe your mind of the doubt, the frustration, and the impatience. Those feelings were appropriate before, but they are not appropriate now. For you are FREE. You are free to FEEL THE KNOWING in your heart (feel it now, you KNOW it). You are free to have whatever you truly want in your life ~ people, experiences, things. You are free to have all your heart’s desires. Know this. Know you are free.

* With the knowledge of your freedom, comes different ways of being. Imagine that you’ve been in a cage this whole time, and the door has now been opened. That is exactly what has happened ~ and yet, most people get so used to the cage that they don’t even see the open door or know what to do with it, so they just sit there, not knowing a whole new world has opened up. A new world, no matter how wonderful, can be scary at first because it’s so unfamiliar. We’ve been taught to be afraid of the unfamiliar, so again we sit in our uncomfortable cage because it’s familiar. Take the first step and walk out of that damn cage. Be brave, Dear Sister, and walk into the unknown. Allow yourself to feel disorientated and confused at first. Know that if you keep taking steps you’ll easily learn the ways of your new world. It won’t take long. Your Spirit Baby and your Soul are guiding you. Allow yourself to be led. Allow yourself to be cradled. Allow it to unfold beautifully before you. Just take that first step out of your cage.

* You’ll know you’re ready to step out of your cage when you’re ready to try new things. This is where your Soul really starts to shine. There are things your Soul came here to experience, and NOW is the time. Put your hand to heart, Dear Sister, and listen to the desires of your Soul that have been whispering in your ear since your childhood.  Children are innately in touch with their Souls, until they’re taught not to be, and then we forget. It’s time to remember why you came here and what you wanted to experience. Your Spirit Baby wants this FOR you. Your Spirit Baby wants your Soul to be happy. Happy Mamas make happy babies. Remember.

* Follow the JOY. Joy is the true north on your new world compass. If an idea or an experience elicits a joy response from you, you’ll know that your Soul has choreographed it for you and that you should follow it. You’ll find that being joyful actually takes a lot less energy than suffering. But it will take practice until joy becomes your default. Keep doing new things ~ have new thoughts, create new patterns, change your daily routine around. Don’t try to recreate the patterns from your small caged-in life. Joy is BIG and without limits. You are limitless now. Follow your limitless joy.

* Talk to yourself like you believe in yourself. This again take practice until it becomes a default but it feels so much better. When you hear that sad voice in your head say “I’ll never be pregnant. This is taking so long. What am I doing wrong?” affirm instead “I’ll be pregnant soon when the time is right. I trust myself, I trust my baby.” Do this with any negative self talk ~ just redirect it as if you BELIEVE you’re free and as if you BELIEVE that you’re about to get exactly what you want. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

* Dedicate yourself to YOURSELF! You’ve dedicated so much time to your Spirit Baby, which again, was entirely appropriate. Now that you know he/she IS coming, it’s time to truly dedicate yourself to YOU. Dedicate yourself to living freely and joyfully! Dedicate yourself to having exactly what you want because you KNOW you deserve it! Dedicate yourself to exquisite pleasure! To delirious happiness! To sensual food! To hot sex!  To saying YES when you want to and saying NO when you want to! Dedicate yourself to all things decadent and luxurious and beautiful. PLEASURE and JOY are our birth-rights and THAT’S what we came here to experience. This is what your Spirit Baby is coming to experience. We are here to be FULLY ourselves, in our own unique way ~ to play, to laugh, to love. Be you ~ the BIG you ~ and live the life you’ve always dreamed. There is nothing you can’t do. So go DO IT. And know that your Spirit Baby is cheering you on the whole way….


Want more? Check out the TTC Game-Changer Package and begin a whole new journey with your Spirit Baby.

Spirit Baby Wisdom: A Different Way to TTC (Part 1)


Oh, how I remember the period of my life where I was TTC (trying to conceive). When I think back to that time, 2 miscarriages and 3 sons ago, the feelings that stand out for me are ones of frustration, impatience, and wild desperation. Sure, there were feelings of hope and promise mingled in, especially during the 2ww (2 week wait after ovulation) but frankly I was an possessed-obsessed-control-freak and NOT much fun to be around. I was known to coerce my husband into having sex when he didn’t want to, flip off every pregnant woman around me, and throw HUGE tantrums when aunt flo would make an appearance. Yes, I was a fucking maniac.

It took my second miscarriage to snap me out of it. By then I was so devastated, so disheartened and so pissed off that I just chucked my thermometer and my fertility charts into the garbage in a fit of rage. Two months later I got pregnant again and this time for keeps. It had taken another tragedy for me to finally surrender and let go. That’s how it had to happen for me, but that’s not how it has to happen for everyone. We don’t need to learn through suffering anymore.

Trying to conceive should NOT be about suffering ~ and that’s what the Spirit Baby Realm really wants us to know.

The Spirit Baby Realm has a very different perception of the whole TTC journey than we do from our human vantage and they are so eager to share it with us. So, take a deep breath and  expand your consciousness in all directions. Feel your Spirit Baby hovering around your head (that’s where they like to hang out) and  feel your energy mingle with your Baby.

And just for a few moments, take a journey so you can see what he/she sees and feel what he/she feels. Feel the energy behind these words and encoded in this message ~ this is the energy of your Spirit Baby and he/she is so glad to see you here.

This is what your Spirit Baby wants you to know:

* The very fact that you’re TTC and yearning for a baby means that you have a Spirit Baby (or Babies) around you in your energetic field. Often times it is the yearning from your Spirit Baby to come into the world that precipitates YOUR yearning. The yearning for a baby is never a one-way street. Your baby wants you as much as you want him/her. Rest assured, you’re not TTC in vain. You’re TTC because your Spirit Baby wants to be here. And will be!

* This TTC journey is something you and your baby chose to go through together. It is part of the soul contract between you and your baby (and the baby’s father). It is something all of you agreed to experience together for higher reasons ~ either reasons of karmic clearing from past life-times or reasons of soul growth in this lifetime. Often both are happening at the same time. Know that your TTC journey has helped you grow in leaps and bounds more than any other path you could have taken, which is why it’s often been so intense. So instead of ever feeling like a victim to your TTC journey, your Baby wants you to feel like a victor ~ for you have fulfilled your part of the soul contract beautifully and your Baby has benefited from this just as much as you. Feel your Baby THANKING you…

* You don’t have to “earn” your Baby. So many times we get caught up in doing the “right” things, eating the “right” things, acting the “right” way in order to “deserve” a baby. The Spirit Baby realm wants us to know that having our heart’s desires is part of our birthright of being human! What we want most in life is not something we have to earn or deserve, it is our birthright ~ and this includes everything, including our Baby! Your TTC journey has nothing to do with you doing things “wrong” or not being good enough in anyway. There should be no guilt or judgment attached to why this is taking longer than you want. It’s all unfolding as it should, for the higher reasons stated above. Having your Baby is your birthright…period.

* Divine Timing can not be forced or controlled. I personally have been trying to make peace with Divine Timing for many, many years. Patience has never been my strong suit and most of the time I get really pissed that Divine Timing seems QUITE a bit behind my own personal timing.  However, we are being asked to TRUST in Divine Timing…as it always brings us something better than we could have personally planned ourselves. We need to look at delays as protection ~ protection against anything less than our truest heart’s desires. When we can find a place of truly trusting in Divine Timing, we let go of our agendas, our timetables, and our expectations and then we put our Spirit Baby in the driver’s seat.

* We can chart all we want, examine our cervical mucous all we want, and we can take our temperature every morning if that truly brings us joy…but the Spirit Babies want us to know this is not even remotely necessary, and can even sometimes act as an external distraction from internal things that need to be looked at. And the Spirit Babies REALLY want me to point out that when the conditions are right and the energy is right, we should never underestimate the phenomena of spontaneous ovulation. This happens all the time! Our babies can come in whenever they damn well please and it has NOTHING to do with a chart!

So, now we know that we DEFINITELY have a Spirit Baby that is ready to come in. We know that he/she WANTS to be with us as much as we want to be with them. We know that Divine Timing is in play and we are being asked to trust it. We know that our Baby takes little regard to when we are “supposed” to ovulate. Where does that leave us? What are we supposed to DO with this information?

Frankly, there is very little we HAVE to do. Our higher selves and our Spirit Babies are running the show, and we are being asked to follow their lead. But because “doing” is part of human nature, there are some wonderful things we can do as we prepare for the (inevitable) reunion with our Baby. Things that will bring us joy, enhance our life in every way and put us in strong communication with our Spirit Babies.

This will be included in Part 2. Be sure to sign up for my blog on the top, right-hand part of this page to read it as soon as it’s ready. Until then, know your baby is very close to you, loves you very much, and is leaving you with this question, “Mama, if you KNEW, without a doubt, that I was coming within the next couple of months, how would you live life differently now?” ♥