The Magic of Miscarriage

*** This post was originally written for my Magical Monday column on CTworkingmoms.com***



Let’s be frank: miscarriages SUCK. It’s a time of lost-dreams, secret grief, confusion and guilt. Every one of us who suffers a loss questions, at least for a moment, if it was due to something we did or didn’t do. Most of us have already formed a bond and an internal relationship with the baby ~ and indeed a miscarriage feels like we are losing a most sacred and beautiful part of ourselves. We have to readjust our minds around the due dates and the dreams. And often we’re stuck with a body that still feels slightly pregnant, so we can’t even easily erase the pain of our loss. There’s NOTHING easy about miscarriages.

But….there just might be some magic behind them. Some magic that can bring us comfort and even hope during this most difficult time. There are a few things the Spirit Baby Realm want us all to know about miscarriage and here they are:

* In almost all cases of miscarriage (or abortion or stillborns) the soul that we lost WILL COME BACK TO US in a subsequent pregnancy. Of course it’s up to us to create the circumstances for that pregnancy, but if we are willing to try again, that soul that we had already bonded to WILL COME BACK. I felt this so strongly when I was pregnant with my first son, Finn. I’d had two miscarriages before and it was so obvious to me that the soul of my baby was the same energy each time. When this was confirmed for me when reading the book “Baby Catcher” by Peggy Vincent, I was overcome with joy and filled with such comfort. The babies DO come back. We can and will meet our lost babies again.

* It’s not our fault. We don’t have miscarriages because of something we ate or because of that wine we had a dinner (though I remember that on the day I miscarried for the first time I’d eaten raw sprouts on a sandwich and to this day I still won’t eat them). Even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time and we may never fully understand the reasons, the miscarriage is something we chose to experience (along with our baby) before we came to the Earth plane.  Perhaps we needed the miscarriage experience to learn certain lessons or to clear karma ~ and perhaps our baby needed the experience too. Finn, at age 8, tells me matter-of-factly the reasons he went away  and came back before finally staying for good. It’s no one’s fault, it’s something we and our babies agreed upon while planning out our lifetimes.

* Miscarriage can intensify prebirth communication. It was after my first miscarriage that my experiences with prebirth communication really kicked in. I believe it was due to the fact that my yearning was so strong and so raw ~ and that intense yearning opened me up to the world of signs and dreams and communication with my lost baby. I also so badly wanted to BELIEVE in the signs and dreams I was having, so I had faith that the communication I was having was indeed the real thing. That’s really all we need to experience strong prebirth communication ~ the yearning for a baby and a belief in the signs we are receiving.  My beautiful first experiences with prebirth communication were such a balm to my soul and gave me such hope and comfort. The signs were a promise from my baby that he indeed would return.

* Miscarriages carry with them hidden gifts. The obvious gift I received from my miscarriages was the ability for prebirth communication. My miscarriages opened up a whole new realm for me. But there were other gifts that came with them too. Even though I’d lost grandparents and dear family pets, my miscarriages carried me to a whole new level of grief and mourning. Even though it certainly didn’t feel like a gift at the time, my miscarriages taught me how to empathize and gracefully interact with others who are grieving. Before my miscarriages, I felt so awkward and clumsy around someone who was suffering a loss and I KNOW I said or did the wrong things. Having suffered intense grief myself, I now know how to respond to grief ~ you don’t tip-toe around it, you don’t avoid certain words, and you certainly don’t ignore it. You ask if they want to talk about it (yes, we NEED to talk about our grief!) and you offer them the help of watching their kids or making them dinner (offering a specific task, I find, is a lot better than the open-ended “let me know if I can do anything for you”).  Knowing what to say to someone who is grieving is a tremendous relief from the clumsy, fumbling role I used to play…and I owe it to my miscarriages. Miscarriages also make us stronger, more resilient and really make us reorganize our priorities. It may also make us (and our partners) really realize how much we DO want a baby. Yes, there are many hidden gifts.

Even though I’ve been known to tear up just talking about them years later, I don’t look at my 2 miscarriages as tragedies that define me. I look at them as life experiences that have helped shaped me into the person I am today.

Miscarriages will never be easy, but if we can eliminate the guilt and confusion around them while knowing that our babies are still close to us, wanting to communicate AND wanting to return…well, that does feel like a little bit of magic, doesn’t it? ♥

For more info check out the “Miscarriage” page.



Universal Spirit Baby Wisdom: Celebrating the CRAP

Yesterday I had some unexpected time alone, so I asked the Spirit Baby Realm if they had any messages for us. The following video shares their wisdom about celebrating life in ALL it’s ups and downs…even and especially when we’re handed a big ol’ pile of crap!


For more rockin’ Universal Spirit Baby Messages click HERE.

What ALL Spirit Babies Want Their Mamas to Know

“What ALL Spirit Babies Want Their Mamas to Know” is now available as an e-book. It includes all the info below and waaaay more awesome and totally life-changing stuff. Find out what YOUR spirit baby wants you to know, Sister. Click here.



I experienced truly amazing  pre-birth communication with my children. They told me what they looked like, what their names were, and what their personalities would be like. My first son even went so far as to tell me how he wanted to be born (by unassisted homebirth) and made sure all the info I needed fell right into my lap while I was pregnant with him. While communicating with my spirit babies I learned a lot about them, but I also learned  A LOT about myself. Prebirth communication is not only an opportunity to prepare us for motherhood, it is an opportunity for us to growing spiritually  ~ in LEAPS and BOUNDS!  My experience of pre-birth communication was so moving, so magical, so paradigm-shifting and so life-changing that it inspired me to create this site and, years later, write my first book “What All Spirit Babies Want Their Mamas to Know.”

Dear Sister, If you found this page it’s because your own spirit baby directed you to it. And if you’re reading these words it’s because your spirit baby has messages for you. Perhaps you’ve had a dream of a baby and are wondering what it means. Maybe you’re grieving the loss of a baby and you’re wondering if he or she will return. Or maybe you simply have a yearning for a baby and are wondering when he or she will show up. No matter what your circumstances are, I can tell you without a doubt, that you DO have a spirit baby and that baby is communicating with you right now. You, Dear Sister, are experiencing prebirth communication.

The spirit baby realm is one of INFINITE love, truth, and limitlessness. The wisdom they provide will expand you and encourage you to step into your own limitlessness. And while I do give readings and am able to communicate with your baby, the person he/she REALLY wants to talk to is YOU. By the end of this article you’ll be to hear your spirit baby a little better. So without further ado, here’s some of what your future baby/babies want you to know:

* Yearning is never a one-way street. If you find yourself yearning for a baby, that baby is also yearning to join you. In many cases, it is the yearning on the baby’s part that precipitated YOUR yearning. If you are yearning for a baby, it means there is a Spirit Baby close to you who plans to come in sometime soon.

* Pay attention to your dreams. Dreams are the realm of Spirit Babies. This is when your mind is quiet and open and most receptive to messages from your Spirit Baby. If your baby comes to you in a dream, understand that this is COMMUNICATION. You can even ask to dream of your baby and chances are you will.

* If you have a set plan on when you’d like to conceive or when you’d like the baby to be born….chuck that silly ol’ plan out the window. Babies come when it’s most advantageous to their life’s purpose. In short, babies come only when they are damn well ready.

* If you have had a miscarriage (or even an abortion or still-born) it is MOST LIKELY  that the soul of that baby will return in a subsequent pregnancy. For frame of reference, I had 2 miscarriages before my first son was born and I KNOW he was the same soul in all those pregnancies. These days he comes up with stories on why he chose to go away and then come back later.  If you’ve suffered a loss, it was the loss of a body and NOT the loss of a soul. That baby can and will come back if you want. (This one is so important and they REALLY want you to know this so there is less suffering.)

* If you do have complications on the way to Mothering, know that it is helping your journey AND your baby’s journey. Sometimes choosing to have a baby is not so straightforward, but the journey there is soul-enriching and life-changing. Complications give rise to strength, compassion, empathy, flexibility AND it clears karma. Complications are something you and your baby agreed on to fulfill certain life-purposes. Your baby is still able and eager to communicate with you throughout all the ups and downs. No matter what, know that you are in this together. Even though having two miscarriages was so incredibly difficult and heart-breaking, I’m so thankful to have had those experiences. It changed me in ways that EASE couldn’t have.

* These babies REALLY WANT to communicate with you! Talk to them and they WILL hear you and acknowledge you in some way. They will, I promise!

* The babies coming in these days are VERY aware, and they require VERY aware parents. You may have to make some certain changes to raise your vibration high enough to receive these wise, new magical souls.  If you are in need of some physical or emotional healing you’ll hear repeated messages of how to do this. And the urges will be so strong you won’t be able to ignore it. These babies can be VERY insistent!

* The Spirit Babies want me to relay to you is that there is  no longer a need to learn lessons through suffering. This doesn’t mean that difficulties won’t arise, but it’s not the difficulties that cause suffering ~ it’s the resistance to the difficulties that cause suffering. If you are experiencing difficulties, it merely means a different course of action (usually via a different way of thinking) is required.  If difficulties arise, the Spirit Babies ask that you remain open to all possibilities rather than wallowing in the same small mind-frame. The answers may not come right away, but they will come when needed. Allow yourself to be confused AND open AND know the new answers will come.

And the final thing the Spirit Babies want me to impart to you right now (and this is said with emphasis):

* MIRACLES HAPPEN ALL THE TIME!  There is no “can’t” or “won’t” or “never will” in the Spirit Baby realm. The Spirit Baby realm is the realm of MIRACLES…and there even the impossible is possible.

GET THE BOOK NOW: It expands on all the information above and it will also expand YOU. It’s like your very own personal conversation with your spirit baby.

New to Love From Baby? Start HERE!

♥ Kate